JOLIE@tart

Thursday, October 13, 2005

I read Alison's latest post with equal amounts of agreement and trepidation. I'm only twenty-one and have a whole life ahead of me and it's so hard to explain to my peers as well as family why I'm not going out partying up a storm, hanging out with friends, etc, etc to staying in(when I'm not working) to read and write or paint and draw or feeding my obsession with travelling and history. And part of me experiences qualms that maybe I should be out partying up a storm(I love to dance though) or making tons of friends to hang out with and that pursuing publication is going to put a halt on my "life" and make me "selfish and introverted". The other part of me smacks myself and says that being published won't end my life, instead enriching it and allowing me even more experiences that being a drudge will never allow me.

Both sides are pulling at me and combined, are part of what's holding me back from really digging down and working hard at actively pursuing publication as opposed to hemming and hawing and half-heartedly plodding in that direction. So I'm going to work hard at overcoming this and allowing the true side to triumph in the end.

i can be. anything.
13.10.05